Friday, 19 April 2013

Different Parenting Styles

When you are expecting your first child nearly everyone has an idea of the sort of parent they are going to be. And I think for a lot of people the reality is quite a bit different.

I can’t remember what I thought I was going to be like as a parent but I've become a little bit of a pushover. I pick my battles carefully and so sometimes that means that I give in to Monkey's demands.
One morning, for example, Monkey had a massive tantrum just as we were about to leave for nursery and I had a train to catch which I was already going to be cutting it fine for. So I gave in to his demand for a chocolate biscuit at 8.15am on the proviso that he shut up and got in the car. And it worked!
My hubby on the other hand takes a much sterner view on things and, to him, things are much more black and white. Biscuits aren’t for breakfast and he can cry as much as he likes. He’s not uncaring – he just has rules and he doesn’t want Monkey to think he can get away with everything.
As Monkey gets older and his behaviour, as with all toddlers, begins to challenge us evermore we are finding that we are having to try to make our different parenting techniques work together.
On days when only one of us is with Monkey it all works fine and I think Monkey understands the way things are depending on who he is with.
What we struggle with is the mornings and the weekends when we are all together. How can you allow him to get away with some things whilst ensuring he adheres to every rule? The answer most of the time is that you can’t and what we find is that we end up arguing over how we want things done.
There are so many challenges in being a parent that I would have never considered before Monkey came along and this is just another one!

1 comment:

  1. I could of written this very post! We are struggling with the exact same thing at the moment. My husband sounds very much like yours in that he is fair and loving but expects his children to know that no means no and that they have to be told. I am like you, I'm prepared to let him get away with more if it means things go more smoothly. We've just had a nightmare week because we've both been off together and the little monster appears to have hit the terrible twos albeit a month early!! So there's been lots of rows between us and a little man testing the boundaries like never before! I feel your pain!! Xx