Friday 22 February 2013

The Cautionary Tale of a Disorganised Mother


Here follows a true story about how one woman (let’s call her me) has spent an entire week attempting to complete the sale of some items she put on an online auction site (let’s call it eBay). Unfortunately the tale below has not been exaggerated in anyway and is true – as ludicrous as it may seem.  

ABOUT 2 WEEKS AGO – You’ll be hassled by your hubby all weekend to finally put on sale some items that have been sat in a box marked ‘Put on eBay’ for a good couple of months. You’ll not be arsed and won’t really concentrate, preferring instead to hurriedly complete the task and get back to much more fun stuff such as working on your blog. The items are up; that’s all that matters.

Lesson 1 – don’t put items on eBay when you’re not concentrating, can’t be bothered and haven’t actually looked at the items. You’re not a good judge of weight and size.  

ABOUT A WEEK AFTER THAT – You’ll sell some of the items – hooray! Counting up your spoils you’ve made £50. All seems good so far.  

MONDAY – You’ll forget to take every item to work with you and thus can do no sending today. You vow to do it tomorrow. You’ll forget that you own no envelopes or packing materials and have no way to send all seven items.  

TUESDAY – You’ll realise that seven items is quite a lot to take on the train and so you’ll conclude that you’ll just take three. At lunch, you’ll leave your office offering to take the important business letters that also need to be stamped and posted. You’ll walk all the way to the Post Office before realising that your hands are empty and you have in fact walked all the way without your parcels. You’ll walk away from the Post Office forgetting all about the important letters in your bag. You’ll go and buy five envelopes (clearly not enough for the seven items but that’s the sort of week you’re having). Later that afternoon you’ll remember that you have the important letters in your bag and have to make a mad dash to the Post Office (this is visit number two of the week, it’s important to keep count).

WEDNESDAY – Very much more organised today, two minutes before leaving for work you hurriedly attempt to put all the items in envelopes. Half the envelopes are too small. You take five items to work (leaving the heaviest at home) with most in envelopes and one that you’ll buy a bigger envelope for. At lunch you go to the Post Office (visit number three), successfully post the four stuffed parcels and buy a bigger envelope for the other item you have with you. But you’ve forgotten to bring the address label and/or a pen for the parcel and so need to take it back with you. You buy parcel paper for the remainder of the parcels.

THURSDAY – Mad panic before work to parcel up the remaining items. You only manage to do one of the really heavy ones. You take that to the Post Office at lunchtime (visit four) but as you put the stamps on you realise you haven’t written the address on, you have no pen, or your phone which has the address on. It’ll have to come back with you, but at least it has postage on!

FRIDAY – Mad panic before work to parcel up remaining item and then lug both to the Post Office (visit five) and finally conclude your sell.  

Hey, it’s been a tough week but they all got posted in the end so it’s not so bad.  

Err, no. Remember when I said that you shouldn’t put items on eBay when you’re tired and distracted. It’s because you will have no clue about postage prices. I did sell all my items for a total of £50 but I ended up spending £41 to post them! 

I made a profit of £9. And I just spent that on wine.  

Heed my warning…cheers!

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