Monday, 18 February 2013

My Mummy guilt is out of control!

About 4 weeks ago we changed Monkey’s nursery and moved him from the one he’d been in since my maternity leave ended just before his 1st birthday (he’s two now.) It was a really difficult decision as he loved his nursery and the care he received there was great but it was just too expensive. Our decision was based on our bank balance.

I know childcare is expensive but this was impossible. At £1,400 per month coupled with our rent on our house of £1,200 and all the bills associated with that it was just too much.  

I always want to provide the very best for Monkey and do what is best for him. But I came to realise that he could get just as good childcare elsewhere for a little bit cheaper. 

At his old nursery he was the child that everyone knew and loved - the star of the show. Unfortunately he doesn’t seem to be finding his feet so comfortably at his new nursery.  

This morning it wasn’t so much that I had to have him peeled off me, I had to have him surgically removed such was the force he clung on, screaming, crying and begging “please Mummy don’t leave me”. Well, I was a mess and ruined all my make up by sobbing all the way to work. I don’t want to leave him anyway let alone if he is upset. Mummy guilt felt like a ten tonne weight on my shoulders and a mighty storm cloud over my head today.  

I tweeted about this earlier (@mrsvickyo) and someone was kind enough to respond telling me that the older the child the longer it can take to settle in so maybe it just needs a little more time. Nursery are really keen to help too and the problem only seems to be in the drop off – he cheers up soon after I leave.  

I’m sure I’m not the only one whose had to make the move and change childcare provider – for whatever reason – so any advice is welcomed! 

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